Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
