Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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