dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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