can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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