Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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