Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
