The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
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Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
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TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
there is glitter all over my balls
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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