I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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