next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
