She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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