oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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