ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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