Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
