When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
