yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
