Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
