I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
