My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
a search helicopter?!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
