yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
