On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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