Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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