I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
