who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just found a bag of teeth...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
