You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
