You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
