it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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