i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
