I have demons in me.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
