Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
