how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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