I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
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He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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