You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
