How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
