she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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