ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
