My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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