oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Is it penis luge time yet?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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