no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
