Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
