We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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