hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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