Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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