this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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