Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize