i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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