Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I wear drunk well.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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