that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Randomize