I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
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