hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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