Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
