The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
