I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
