you turned your livingroom into a bong?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
