You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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