the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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