I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
