Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
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maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
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I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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