a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
