Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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