Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize