I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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