So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
