At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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