Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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